The "no action until" trap
Dangerous place. Are you stuck there?
In this email:
Reflect: your mind is lying to you, your heart knows it is, your ears won’t listen, and you’re sitting there. Entirely paralyzed. There is only one solution.
Input: a TED talk that will not just help your English, but the way you speak to yourself
Output: today’s free speaking prompt
What I’m up to
All links in one place and about
Reading time: 7 minutes. You can do this :)
Cover art by The Cleveland Museum of Art on Unsplash
Struggling to focus? Read one section at a time.
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No shame in getting help if you need it. It’s part of the process.
The No Action Until Thing
It’s a trap. Don’t fall for it!
This was a great moment of illumination I had with one of my coaches, years ago. It was so simple, and yet so mindblowing.
You know when you know you’ve got to do something, and you keep making excuses not to do whatever it is you must do?
It’s sneakier than classic procrastination: when we procrastinate, we know we are procrastinating.
With the No Action Until trap, it’s really rather about telling yourself that the conditions aren’t optimal (and we know that… Conditions are hardly ever ideal to get pretty much anything done when we are adults. We should just… Go for it.)
Here’s the kind of thing I mean:
You will invest in improving your English fluency… When you get a job offer.
You will start going to the gym… When you feel comfortable at your new job.
You will start eating better… Once the kids are all settled in school and have a routine.
It can also happen with more abstract things:
You will feel happy and satisfied… Once you have a bigger house, a new car, once you’ve lost weight, had a child, got married, a relationship, a pet — you name it.
The trouble with this?
Your brain is excellent at finding new “untils”.
It does it all the time.
All. The. Time.
The next Until is always around the corner.
Your brain will always find a new Until to perfectly justify not doing what you know you NEED to be doing.
Our mind can be a sneaky bastard. There, I said it.
I am guilty of this, too, you know. Want proof?
Usually, when it’s a case of No Action Until, your heart clearly has an anti-bullshit answer. You usually just refuse to listen to it. And the thing is… Making a move into action is the only sensible thing to do. More doing. Less thinking. Yep.
Here are my own examples, with their own anti-bullshit answers.
I will sign up for the gym once I stop spending so much time away from Barcelona for months at a time (No Bullshit Answer: ha. ha. ha. When will that be???)
I will sign up for a coworking space membership once my income hits xxx €per month and I won’t feel it is a waste of money (No Bullshit Answer: it’s not a waste of money if it provides a third place to work in, helps your mental health by getting you out of the house, and allows you to network with new people. You need new people around you, you need new places to work in!)
I will pitch my live workshop ideas to cultural spaces in Barcelona once I feel the online side of my business is up and running and under control. (No Bullshit Answer: LOL. Anyone who has set up an online business knows that the feeling of “being done” or of “control” is very hard to reach. If I miss in-person events, I should just start organising my life to include them, and get on to it. Now. Not… Whenever. And yet :D )
Have you got any cases of No Action Untils messing with your life?
I feel you. If you want to share, hit reply, and tell me both your trap and its anti-bullshit-answer! I’m curious!
This week’s TED Talk
The power of vulnerability, by Brené Brown. This tip actually comes from my darling client Claudia D., a thoughtful, sweet woman who asked to work on this during her coaching journey. I loved this talk — I had seen it ages ago, but had forgotten about it in between. I really recommend that you watch it — not just as English practice… But because it’s full of great tips on how to deal with yourself. Brené is funny and deep at the same time. She’s a very good communicator.
You may have noticed I link to the TED website and not to YouTube, and that is because on TED.com you can always find subtitles in a ton of languages — use them. Use English subs, use subs in your language… Anything that helps you actually watch to the end. Why? a) because finishing anything in another language while learning is empowering. b) because I was a TED volunteer writing subtitles for 3 years when I was young, and I love it when people still use my work! and c) I believe in comfort over rigour, in pleasure over hardship, when learning.
(Always remember you are under no obligation to watch the whole thing n one go. Chunk it down, read it in sections. Your brain will thank you.)
Today’s speaking prompt
(Not sure how to use this? Instructions after the prompt.)
A funny one today:
If you had to choose who to be stuck in an elevator with, who would it be, and for what reason?
Talking points to help you:
Who comes to mind, and for what reason?
It can be anyone in your life: a family member, a friend, a famous person, a historical character... Anyone, really. Dead or alive!
Think about what you’d like to discuss with them… With no chance to escape!
Would you have any burning questions for them?
How to prepare for recording in a way that actually helps you pratise:
Write 3-4 bullet points (you are not writing a script, you don't want to sound like you are reading out loud)
Try to keep it concise: give yourself a time limit of 3-4 minutes.
Listen to yourself once and think of the things you'd like to improve: words that you were missing. Places where you were unclear. Make a mental note to improve those areas, and then re-record.
What I am up to
You will be reading this while I’m on an Air France flight (I hope I will be, as I am flying as a standby passenger) from Buenos Aires to Paris. It’s the first time I fly with Air France, and I am obviously asking the most important question: what are they serving for dinner???
Yep. I’m going back to my beloved Old Continent, even though it’s not going through the easiest of times now, what with one autocrat wanting to annex Greenland, and the other saying he wants peace while he keeps bombing the crap out of his neighbour. It’s a bit of a scary time, some of the most tense I have experienced in my life.
But, Europe — all of it — is home, so here I go, until the next trip.
I will stop by in Paris for the weekend, to see a friend, go book shopping, go to museums, eat fabulous food from all over the world… et pour flâner.
While I often travel to the southern half of France, which is very easy to reach from Barcelona, I haven’t been to Paris since before the pandemic, so I’m very happy to be going there for a few days. I’ve been saying I need to be back for ages. Now is the time.
See you next time, friends!
Hugs,
Paola
Whenever you are ready,
bring some joy and lightness into your learning with me:
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Listen to my interviews about language learning, multilingual life and solo travel as a woman here. In English, Italian and French.
Italian speaker? Listen to me on Spotify, or read my biweekly cultural bulletin.
Read my archive (and find past, free speaking prompts for practice) here.
About me:
My name is Paola.
I’m a trained and certified language coach, and I speak 5 languages fluently.
I believe in making language learning and cultural growth available to as many people as possible, which is why this newsletter has no paywall, and won’t ever have it.
I also believe in slow, gentle communication: we have enough stressors in our lives. Let’s make our learning space a space of peace and kindness, pushing back against notifications, social media noise & mental fog, and expectations of instant responses.
My mission is to get others to access a wider world thanks to their English — speaking a language well is so much more than just a skill you can put on a CV, it’s a door to other amazing, colourful, far away worlds! — and to help them do so joyfully, without judging themselves, and being okay with messing up. Making mistakes is part of the game.
Learn with joy, consciousness & (self-)love. Everything else will follow!
